11 October 2010

Pelangi Gelung Rotan - Part 2

Setiap derap langkah perjalanan adalah pengajaran dan pelajaran dalam sekolah kehidupan. That is what I could describe about our trip to Air Terjun Pelangi Gelung Rotan, Kuala Sentul, Maran, Pahang on the next day of the trip.

It was such a great morning after Fajr prayer, and everyone is ready for for their own slow shutter session, where ever they wanted to. And, Im sure that those landscapers really been inspired by the waterfall..oh waterfallsss should i say here. Various kind of waterfalls around our campsite area. You just need to make your choice :D They're so happy naming the waterfall by the way. Heh.

At around 830am we start the journey to Air Terjun Pelangi Gelung Rotan from our campsite at Batu Hampar. We actually went upstream. Thus the first thing that we did is to cross the flowing water in front of our campsite and do a little climbing right beside Air Terjun Batu Hampar. Maybe I could say it is on Air Terjun Che Mek Molek.

on your right side is Air Terjun Che Mek Molek. And we climb on it. Photo courtesy Azizul Aziz.

Then it is start of journey on a flat area, but, we walked most of the time in the water. Not only that, it's full with slippery rocks ! Lot's of them, seriously. Also, we need to cross the fast flowing water. It's tough but it's fun :)

This is where I've been taught on how to walk properly, provided with this kind of track. Every step, there's someone voice would accompany my journey, whether live at my ears, or not. Haha.
And seriously, I learn a lot.

Below, are some photos of the track.

First, we were all amazed with the rock formation along the track. Seriously!

Rivers and slippery rocks that we need to cater. photo credits to Azizul Aziz.

photo below, courtesy to Abutoq

photo below, courtesy to Azizul Aziz

After about 45 minutes, we actually did have a short break. Then we head back to the main aim, and about an hour later we came across such a wonderful waterfall called Air Terjun Batu Kawah. It's really fascinating even until now!

such a great view here. Everyone is almost speechless. Photo courtesy to Dr. Jamal R

We spend few minutes there to allow ourselves breath in normally due to the mesmerizing view. Hihi. And we proceed the journey as we will come back to it again on the journey back to the campsite. As it is quite high, thus we need to hike a small and quite steep hill with the help of a rope to pass the waterfall.

Again, we need to walk through a slippery narrow track with deep cleft of the waterfall's rocks on the side. This is even scarier than the track to Batu Hampar campsite. But then, the view from the top of the waterfall is simply awesome (and quite scary).

Photo courtesy to Dr. arJamal

Then we continue the journey with deeper and faster water stream. Below is a photo by Br. Azam Alwi. I reall wanna have a shot here :) we pass down below the fallen tree. The water stream was really fast. Fuh.

After almost 3 hours of walking in the water, we reach Air Terjun Pelangi Gelung Rotan. There's no one arrive yet, thus it's pleasurable to take photos of its whole. When we reach there, we actually deviate the track a bit, to reach a suitable port for photography. It took quite a time to clear up the trees and bushes before we could reach the big rock and setting up a port. Dr. Jamal would be among the first to capture, and below goes his photo

It's a wow isn't it?

But the most exciting part of the journey, is to have yourself under the falling water ! And even you could see the rainbow around you, only when you're under the fall! It's such a treat. A really great treat. I wouldn't forget this amazing experience.

The version with power rangers !

Yes, the scenery worth everything. The walk, the injury, the pain and all. And to 'shower' under the fall is the greatest experience ! Wuhuu..~!
We were there until only few of us left up here. They're all went down for the lunch. And we also have our lunch near to the waterfall, and we eat on a banana leaf :D

Dr Ali and nasi daun pisang first class

During the trip back to campsite, we stop by at many small waterfalls, and we reach the campsite when it's almost dark. We share lots of stories at night and the next morning before the 'silat' session.

Yes, we do have a 'silat' session. It's all initiated by Dr Ali.

They said, Arjuna and Andika. Who are they actually? Huhu.

This is the first time among those 3 days where everybody gather at one place to shoot something. Everyone smiles a lot ! After this session we have our group photo session as usual ^_^

We head back to Masjid Kuala Sentul, and this time we're very fast since all the trees and bushes has been cleared up. We took only 1 hour and a half to reach there.

I would say, it's a must-go trip for all nature lovers and for all landscapers. Seeing is believing. And I hope I would have a chance to come here again before lots of people would come, since the place won't be the same anymore.

People people out there. You love nature, take a good care of it as a start.
This journey for me, is really ex·tra·or·di·naire !

P/s: To inspire our nature and photo lovers,
Related report & photos of Kuala Sentul, Maran. Here:
2. By Dr Ali
6. By Mat Jeri
7. By Abutoq

8 October 2010

Pelangi Gelung Rotan - Part 1

I feel blessed that Allah has given us a chance to join a trip to Air Terjun Pelangi at Kuala Sentul, Maran with fellow friends. It is a so called Extraordinary Photo Travel Adventure Trip (EXPAT) organized by MatJeri and Dr Ali. At first I have no idea on how the waterfall looks like. I search here and there but no satisfied result found. No wonder as the saying goes, seeing is believing. And that is why Im making this photo journal for you guys to have a look on anytime you search for one.

We start the journey from Kuantan early in the morning, and it's the first time Im a bit late and making others to wait even though I woke up as early as 520am ! :D
It would take around an hour from Kuantan to Masjid Kuala Sentul, Maran. This is where we park our cars and getting ready for the journey.

Ready !

It's in total 19 of us including the guide. This time no one use porter, and I think the award of the heaviest bag would goes to our beloved lecturer, Dr Jamal Rahman with 20kg on the shoulder and waist. Congrats! We call him, 'moving cupboard', or a moving bag with limbs, maybe. ;)

From the mosque, we went to the starting point of the trekking track with a 4WD and a combat car. We went down through a palm oil plantation with a quite interesting pathway. People who seat open air outside the car would need to make up special position of 'hormat pokok', if not the leaves would injured them on the faces :D

people at the back on the 4WD. photo credit goes to Dr. Jamal Rahman.

It took us 15 minutes with a 4WD, but 45minutes by foot, as been told by our trip guide. But remember guys, it's only to the starting point of the track. He.
I am actually quite surprise to see an ascending area as our starting point. Wow. And we actually need to hike many small hills from the plantation area to the jungle.

We start the journey at 1030am. We have a walk for about an hour going up and down, and it is not that bad. Just that it's not pleasurable to hike with a burden of 10kg on my shoulder and waist. even with nothing on my shoulder. hehe. But seriously it is not that bad. You just need to walk quite fast, just maintain that. Only if you're young and healthy.

As I myself have a problem of chronic fatique syndrom all the times, thus I would just deviate the pain and exhaustion which already in me 24 hours a day, by walking fast and even having a little run up there. Be happy guys! Little kids love to play around running here and there. I would feel happy doing so too, but this time it's applicable for the track *grin* fighting the pain in the jungle, it's interesting thou. Maybe this could be the answer for those who always ask me why Im walking so fast.

Im happy that we reach the brim of the jungle after an hour of walking, coz it's already hot that time. Im really sensitive to the sunlight due to my sickness. I mean, my eyes. We need trees as our shelter. We have a short rest there before we proceed back the journey going inside the jungle.

After half an hour, we stop by as it's started to rain, and we help our friend around to cover their bags. After that we reach the area full with rattan trees. You just need to be aware of the thorn which might prick you. As we go deeper into the jungle, it started here, where we spent the time waiting for our trip guides to clear up the bushes and trees.

Then we reach a small river where everyone took a rest and fills up the bottle with fresh water. This is what I really waited for, to fill up my esophagus with fresh cold water. Yuhuu. This is also where everyone continue the session of killing and destroying the leech (pacat in bahasa). They are our friends. We bet they're too happy to see us all.

After for about 15 minutes been rested, we continue the journey. LOts of hills for us to climb (i mean, walking), and the track get tougher. I just can't stand the slippery part of the narrow track with deep cleft on the side. Pheww. Fall down few times due to weak limbs. Get help many times too. There is one time where 4-5 people needed, to get me up from the slippery narrow track. I blame the 10kg bag. Hehe =p

Not long after that we could hear the river flowing sound and we reach the campsite at around 215pm. Najwa, ayahanda, abutoq, guide and me are among the first to reach there and we directly heading to the river to start the killing mission of our best friends called leech. This is the time where I really could feel a deep silent inside with not many people around yet. But still, after half an hour later, I am happy to hear their voices from a far. They arrived in exhaustion, but I believe the tiredness almost gone to see and to feel the cold river water which really place a peace in heart and mind ^__^ (despite of the leech killing session. they are horrible! hehe)

Wonderful Batu Hampar waterfall, this is the view from our campsite. You can enjoy yourself anytime. Even at 530am in the morning like we did ! *grin*

another waterfall right in front of the campsite. In the photo, Matjeri is fishing, i think.

The third waterfall next to the campsite, Air Terjun Tebing Tinggi. Simply awesome ! Subhanallah! Photo courtesy to MatJeri

During this trip, few friends and I were not able to witness this super amazing waterfall by own eyes due to some reasons. Maybe we're too busy enjoying the one nearer to our campsite. I hope to be there again to witness Air Terjun Tebing Tinggi. InshaAllah. If not, I wanna enjoy it in Jannah later on, the one with milk and honey. Hehe. :)

This is the view of our campsite on the other side of the waterfall. We could see two waterfalls here. Just enjoy yourself, just enjoy the nature created by Him. He is just amazing, the Almighty. Photo courtesy to MatJeri

In the afternoon we're busy enjoying all possible angles to freeze the waterfall into tiny digital photos to bring back home. Not to forget that we really enjoy to have our zuhr and 'asr prayer right in front of the waterfall !

As a Muslim we believe that, our prayers must and can be performed anywhere, anytime in any condition. That's an obligation to show our appreciation to Him for all the kindness and bless He shower upon us, on our daily life.

Even now, I just cannot forget the feeling of having our own forehead to touch the water that flows on the rock, to feel really calm hearing those sound of nature, and to be in total peace in our prayer. It was like the waterfall already took all other sounds. Even you're in jemaah, you feel like you're praying alone, no one besides, only you and God. That is such one thing which I really cannot forget during our trip there. Which I try to maintain it here..to imagine that I was there everytime Im in prayer.

And that is us! Making prayer together. May Allah Almighty bless this ukhuwwah, till Jannah shall we meet inshaAllah. Kiniey and cha cha, how much I wish I could bring you guys here, seriously! :)
Photo courtesy to Dr. Jamal Rahman ;) kayak kanak kanak riang kami ini.

So guys, the journey gonna continue later, on the second day. Where we're heading to Air Terjun Gelung Rotan. See ya' on the next part!

p/s: To inspire our nature and photo lovers,
Related report & photos of Kuala Sentul, Maran. Here:
2. By Dr Ali
6. By Mat Jeri
7. By Abutoq

16 September 2010

fasobrun jameel

things going tough and overloaded
bahang kepanasan terasa
tapi terasa sejuk memikirkan bantuanNya

"Sesungguhnya Allah bersama orang-orang yang sabar dan solat."

Ujian itu sekadar ujian, tidak terbanding dengan kebersamaanNya di sisi mereka yang bersabar.

inshaAllah inshaAllah..
rabbuna yusahhil..
mintak maaf dunia akhirat, sahabat-sahabat..

12 September 2010

Jika markah ditayangkan

mentari terik tinggi
awan laju lari
tapi aku masih mengharap basah hujan basuhkan lalu kotor kotor hitam dari susuk badan

masih harap terbangkan bintang
masih harap jatuhkan laut dalam
masih harap kasihnya Tuhan.

tapi hakikat,
aku masih diam di sini.
kau semua macam mana?


basah hujan semata
takde gosokan bersungguh pada anggota
agaknya sebanyak mana hilang daki semua..?

gelap sungguh hati ni
Kau tujuan utama
tapi hati ni ntah letak di mana duduknya
pada tanah lumpur
atau awan biru ampunan bahagia

aku ini
dapatkah aku
pada rahmat, berkat dan ampunan Kau?
aku ini
memang patut pun kau uji
sebanyak mana nyawa ini bersisa
sebab aku
manusia yang hampeh susahnya nak bersyukur
syukur yang diterjemah dalam amal
jua iman yang diterjemah dalam amal

aku ini
kalaulah aku boleh tengok markah aku
untuk ramadhan yang lepas
dan sepanjang mana sejak amalan dihisab
Kau agak2 aku akan improve kan tak?

Tolong lah
bantu aku baik pulih hati ni

Allahummafighlana Ya Allah..

Bait-bait yang di atas sana milik Mr Gluttonity, a friend of mine, in a blog of him.
Menyebabkan diri ni terfikir sendiri kembali..dan mengukir bait-bait seterusnya

Macam mana agaknya ramadhan kita yang lepas..........

28 August 2010

Say, I Love You

taken 12th ramadhan, we at the beach watching the sun rising.

Jika cinta, katakan cinta. Jika sayang, katakan sayang. Fuh. Cam ape je.

May Allah shower us with His barakah. We have met, and been together in this world, in the journey towards Him. He, who has guide us to this path, to here we are.
Kita semua telah bersatu hati dan sama-sama berjalan ke arah mencari redhaNya. Dialah yang selayaknya dipuji atas segala kurnia kebersamaan ini.

Even so, jalanan kita ini, kebersamaan kita ini, pasti takkan sunyi daripada liku liku kekeliruan, noda dan ujian dalam persahabatan. Namun tetap, hati ini mahu mengatakan, jiwa ini kasih keranaNya.

Kata orang, mencari kawan itu mudah. Namun sahabat sukar dicari. Jauh perjalanan, lama kehidupan, barulah ketemu sahabat sebenar. Namun syukur atas kurniaanNya, sahabat sebenar sahabat, ada disekeliling diri ini.

Sesungguhnya orang yang beriman tu, bersaudara kan (Al hujurat:10). Persahabatan, teman, kasih sayang, rasa ambil berat, this is all a gift from God. This is among the hikmah stated in Al-Quran.

"Walaupun kamu membelanjakan (kekayaan) yang berada di bumi, niscaya kamu tidak dapat mempersatukan hati mereka, akan tetapi Allah telah mempersatukan hati mereka. "

With this I understand, pertautan hati kerana selain Allah tidak akan menyatukan hati-hati manusia. tidak akan...hmmm...

Bersahabat kerana Allah, syarat ke syurga. Oh mengapakah...
Kita tidak akan masuk syurga kecuali apabila kita beriman. Dan kita ni, tidak dikira beriman selagi kita tidak saling berkasih sayang. Dan nabi tanyakan pada sahabat-sahabat, nak tau tak apa yang boleh kamu lakukan supaya kamu saling menyayangi?
"Sebarkanlah salam di antara kalian."

Fuh, kan best gi mana-mana semua saling bagi salam. And this is very RARE.

And last, one of the form of love between us all. To think of them secretly in prayers. Dan ada malaikat di sisi yang akan sentiasa menjawab doa kita

"dan untukmu jua apa yang kau pinta."

Rasulullah mengibaratkan Muslim sebagai satu tubuh, di mana seluruh tubuh akan merasa sakit apabila satu anggota merasa sakit..

Allahumma solli 'ala Muhammad ~
Aku bermohon padaNya, moha dihimpunkan kita semua di Jannatul Firdaus yang tertinggi, menjadikan perhimpunan kita, perhimpunan yang penuh kasih sayang. Sedangkan perpisahan kita adalah perpisahan yang bersih daripada dosa.

21 August 2010

11 pergi dan yang berbaki

taken last February

Sekejap saje sudah 11 Ramadhan, dan hari ini hari kedua as mencari sendiri juadah berbuka. Hari-hari yang lepas semuanya atas bantuan rakan-rakan. Ramadhan kali ini, macam-macam terjadi, admission to ward and all.

But alhamdulillah Allah panjangkan nyawa kita untuk sampai ke hari ke11 ramadhan ni. Sedang antara ramadhan yang lepas dan ramadhan tahun ini, sudah berapa ramai yang telah pergi meninggalkan kita. Tapi Allah panjangkan umur kita untuk mengecapi bulan nikmat ini...

Dalam ramadhan,
amalan sunat = pahala mengerjakan amalan wajib
amalan wajib = pahala mengerjakan 70 'ibadah wajib di luar bulan ramadhan
[HR ibnu khuzaimah]

Mengecapi nikmat tu bolehlah di analogikan dengan, menghirup dalam-dalam udara sahur, menghirup dalam-dalam udara malam-malam ramadhan. Cuba kamu tarik nafas dalam-dalam sekarang, nikmat kan..? Sebab biasanya kita tak bernafas sepenuhnya pun. Kan?
Cuba kamu tarik nafas dalam-dalam setiap kali di mana-mana tempat, serius mesti ramai suh kamu pergi hospital check dada :D

Untuk ramadhan yang berbaki, kejarlah apa yang telah luput daripada kita pada 11 hari yang telah berlalu. Belum terlambat. Jangan tunda-tunda. Ini as pesan pada diri sendiri dan ajak kawan-kawan semua.. Boleh aa kita masuk syurga sama-sama kan. Ameen :D

"Ya Allah, aku berlindung daripada merasa mulia dan agung di dalam jiwaku sendiri. Sementara di dalam jiwa orang lain, aku kecil dan hina." [doa Hassan Al-Basri]


17 August 2010

Needle into the joint

early August last year, in putrajaya :)

It was at day care unit. I went down from my ward with a wheelchair for intra-articular injections. Procedure ended with words from my consultant to the patient besides me.

"Awak jangan menangis pulak ye."

Coz she's waiting for her turn for wound dressing, and keep looking at me during the injections.

I'm used to lots of injections whether to withdraw blood or for intra-muscular analgesia (ubat tahan sakit disuntik pada bahu). But I'm really traumatic with intra-articular injection (suntikan pada sendi).

Dan bila doktor nyatakan yang As perlu dapatkan suntikan itu lagi tika di ward, kepala terpaksa mengiakan. Kali terakhir As mendapat suntikan itu hampir setahun setengah yang lepas. Beberapa kali sejak Nov 2008 after a surgery done to my knee. Feels quite old to have such surgery. Heh.

What is special about intra-articular injection is, it must be at least 6 repetitive injections, at a single joint. Yesza. And the pain is definitely really terribly different from other injections. Even 10 times more painful compared to IM injection at the shoulder.

For the first 3 injections, usually my eyes boleh tengok lagi. Da masuk ke empat, sure pejam mata tunduk tahan air mata. Senyap....dengan air mata menitis....keras...
Heh siyes sakit amat. Needle went through your joints, ligament, tendon etc..wuhu.

Dan doctor will ask,
"Hasanah, you alright?"
for few times and I cannot even say "Yes."
Even cannot ask what did you inject into my joint, is it hyaluronic acid, steroid or what...

intra articular injection of the knee

And don't know why it is really really painful even you got the injection of local anaesthesia before the next injection. Yosh~

15 August 2010

No more tears, wonderful friends are everywhere

"Adik sekolah lagi ke?" The physiotherapist asked me.

"Yup, sekolah lagi akak." Sambil senyum

"Sekolah kat mana?"


And she laughed. "La sekolah lagi ke camtu?"

"Yup akak, tak habis2 lagi belajar kat sekolah ni."

"Berapa lama lagi?"

"8 bulan, inshaAllah."

Sekolah kehidupan jua, yang entah bila kan berakhirnya. Entah esok lusa, atau sepuluh dua puluh tahun yang mendatang. Mampukah anggota badan ini menampung bebaban. It's alreadly like 48 years old. aha :)


"Doctor, nak discharge, please..tomorrow."

"You should stay until a week at least. Ada 6 treatment session to be completed."

"Tamau. Nak discharged.."

Dan doktor senyum sambil geleng.

I'm already discharged. Thanks for the wonderful support, friends.

p/s: gambar atas tu, guna point and shoot camera je ;)

nota: she will be unfit for proper performance of her duties until 19th august."
rasa macam will be forever unfit je with fibromyalgia. heh

12 August 2010

Started the Ramadhan in the ward

Photo taken past two years in the ward.

Ramadhan this year has come again. And as always, my heart feels like full with bless. With the so-called sickness which I never heard the name before, fibromyalgia which often causing restricted movement and radiating pain, that affects whole my life and my body system. Still, I could feel His love. Thanks Allah for granting me such strength to face everything, even though only You know how much I struggle inside in :)

So this Ramadhan, having it in the ward. Fall down twice, a day before Ramadhan, and the pain was like, ouch never felt before. Having this weak body even to walk around, makes me frequently falling down. And usually I would just get up and walk again like nothing happened. But on the day, I really2 surrender myself, I waited until I think I can walk. But I cant. Huhu.

Im totally in deep pain everyday and exhaustion due to my clinical posting. We work really hard in this field, everything is heavy, patients are heavy, the machines are heavy, the equipments are heavy, the doors and all are heavy too~! We did the posting, like we're already a staff. Lots of doctors are viewing the medical images without realizing many of them produced by students, only students. Yes it is true.

Thus, the work we are in, adding up with the sickness. And lots of 'school' work given by lecturers, I feels like the semester already passed for 2 months and half even though it was only 5 weeks ago. Having research project, mini thesis, classes, keje-keje sekolah and the main thing is the clinical posting (p/s: Rasa macam tengah buat PJJ je skang bukan full time student. Huhu) which makes me so much in deep pain and exhaustion, I really feel wanna pause for a while for my weak body. So having to start the Ramadhan by being admitted to ward, I think it's still full with bless. I think He wants me to have a very good rest despite of the pain.

Everything happens for a reason, and Allah for sure knows the best. Friends out there, I know that you're having a difficult days too, I pray that Allah eases your path, grant you strength, because I know you can. He wont burden us with something which we cannot bear of, and He loves you. That is for sure. Take care, friends!

FAMILY is a way of having friends by ALLAH's decision.
FRIENDS make family by human decision.

1 August 2010

it's your day

It's your special day. Might be the last that all 4 of us could celebrate together. Our prayers would follow your footsteps. Keep on walking, Love.

Untuk sahabat yang disayangi..

Pada ulangtahun ke23,
pada jiwa yang menjengah pertambahan usia,
pada usia yang semakin bertambah kurangnya,
dan pada kaki yang kini memijak akhir tahun pengajiannya..

Moga Allah rahmati perjalanan usia,
diberkati ilmu yang di dada,
dikuatkan semangat juang menempuh jihad menuntut baki ilmu tahun akhir, ditegarkan hati untuk terus mengejar kejayaan, kejayaan abadi di sisiNya.

Moga gelaran wanita solehah jadi milikmu teman..dicintaiNya jua dikasihi seorang mujahid yang bakal menemani titian baki usia perjalanan, menebar mawaddah dan rahmah pada dirimu, dirinya, dan permata2 yang bakal dilahirkan.

Daku serahkan segala harapan ini dalam tanganNya. dan daku serahkan kamu dalam jagaanNya.

Remember, WE love you~!

Buatmu sahabat-sahabat. Jauh dan dekat. Kenalan jauh dan rapat. Alam maya dan realiti.

Jangan Engkau tinggalkan untuknya suatu dosa melainkan telah Engkau ampunkan. Dan tiada suatu aibnya, melainkan telah Engkau tutupinya. Tiada suatu dukanya melainkan telah Engkau hilangkan daripadanya. Tiada suatu hutangnya melainkan telah Engkau bayarkannya. Tiada suatu kesakitan melainkan telah Engkau sembuhkannya. Tiada suatu hajatnya dari keperluan dunia dan akhiratnya yang telah Engkau redhai dan tepat untuknya melainkan telah Engkau tunaikan segalanya baginya wahai Tuhan yang Maha Penyayang

Ampunilah daku dan sahabat-sahabatku dan masukkanlah kami kedalam rahmatMu. Wahai Tuhan yang maha penyayang!

25 July 2010

perlukah ada risau

Kaki yang memijak duri
Kubawa ia menyusuri hari
Merentas batasan mimpi
Yang roboh di sini
Di hati ini....!

Dalam hidup, banyak perkara yang kita sayang.
Ramai juga orang yang kita sayang, itu yang hampir menjadi perkara pertama bagi kebanyakan kita.

As selalu tertanya pada diri, apakah kasih sayang kita mampu memelihara mereka semua daripada hilang daripada pandangan hati dan mata. Adakah segala kuasa di tangan kita. Apakah mampu kita membendung segala kerisauan daripada terjadi. Kehilangan, kematian, kerosakan, berubah hati dan segala perkara negatif yang tidak mahu kita utarakan.

Semuanya di tangan Tuhan! Siapakah kita yang kerdil hina, mahukan sesuatu terjadi atas kehendak kita, sedangkan segalanya telah dalam genggaman takdir iradat Tuhan. Kadangkala rasa terlalu kerdil diri, nikmat diberi tak terjangkau luas, pedih hati yang kecil semata, mengapa itu yang dijadikan sandaran kesedihan.

"Toksoh duk ingat lah hok sedih tu.."
I think someone said this way in my flickr page.

Sesuatu yang memang ditakdirkan bukan milik kita, walau sekuat mana pun genggaman kita, tetap akan terlepas jua. Sesuatu yang memang ditakdirkan untuk kita, di dalam tanah ia tersembunyi rapat, tetap akan datang pada kita.

Apakah lagi yang perlu dirisaukan? Takdir Tuhan? Kita manusia, tetap manusia. Selagi belum bergelar sufi, yang pergantungan totally pada Rabbi.

Entri ini adalah bukan untuk mendoakan, tetapi untuk menarik kita semua kepada realiti. Ia lebih kepada peringatan dan pujukan buat diri sendiri. As mahu berkongsi dengan kamu.
As sendiri yang menulis entri ini pun terasa sangat syadid nya diri. Tapi ini realiti yang perlu kita garapkan, bukan?

easier said than be done.

Moga Allah kurniakan kita iman yang sempurna. ameen.

21 July 2010

berhidup dengan dia

Dia teman As sampai bila-bila. Dia sangat setia bersama.
I was not aware that Im living with it since few years back. Maybe since 7 years ago. Wow lamanya kami bersama~

Just after I met Dr. Cyril Toma from Prince Court Hospital, that he found this on me. Living with fibromyalgia. Muka As berkerut when he mentioned this to me. What is that on earth? Until he asked me to go back and google about this. (just click here to know more about fibromyalgia)

And it fits perfectly with all the symptoms!

Sebab selama ni penat As duk buat imaging kat badan ni nak check apa masalah dia exactly. Did I have PID on my spine. Did I have any tear in the knee. Mintak tolong radiologist buatkan ultrasound for shoulder joint jugak.

Mintak tolong staffs buatkan MRI dan sebagainya. Hoho. Penat je As tido dalam MRI. But at least I know that my cervical disc are all degenerating now. But I do think Im too young for this. Heh.

Yang paling best, surgery done but nothing happens. Malah makin worst. Semua sebab fibromyalgia. Ces. hehe. Akhirnya dapat jawapan kepada persoalan.

Yes, ini kali pertama as menulis tanpa explain pada kalian setiap medical terms. As mintak maaf. Dengan semua apa yang as belajar selama ni, as curious nape semua imaging modalities takleh nak show fibromyalgia in the images. MRI which specially design for soft tissue pun tak boleh show. Ultrasound lagilah tak jelas. CT scan etc tu lagilah jauh sekali.

But functional MRI (fMRI) boleh usha what is in the brain of fibromyalgia sufferer. How the brain response, and how the pain regulate. Macam sangat menarik. But, we dont have fMRI yet in Malaysia. Haih. That is such an interesting study. Cuma risau susah nak dapat data kat Malaysia sebab memang tak ramai yang sakit macam ni, dan tak ramai doctor aware to diagnose this. Acceptable lah, sebab rare. Dah jadi bias in study.

The same goes with the imaging using SPECT (single photon emission CT). Sama macam fMRI, die tetap study brain of the suffferer, where the blood flow is higher, and each region tu of course indicate different things. Tahla. As just suka cardiac imaging je when it comes to SPECT. The same goes to MRI, as lebih minat cardiac MR. Memang sangat best.

Dan as rasa sangat tah pape, sebab this is not my style of writing. I did not show my emotion directly this way, especially in this blog. Yosh...ape sudah jadi..wiiii...

8 July 2010

When Mum asked you to get married

Never speak about this. Never touch on this issue. In this memorable blog of mine.
This, such a big issue, for me as a woman.
And when Mum asked me to get married.

Mum asked me to get married.
Mum thought I already have someone special.
Mum thought that I rejected men who came to me.

"Sape2 yang baik datang pada kita, terima jelah seadanya. Tak perlu pilih-pilih sangat."

I said, Im in pain 24/7. I don't want to burden anyone close.

"Is your sickness make your friends doenst want to befriend you..?"

And...im speechless..
Lifetime sickness, terrible pain 24/7. Emotional distress due to the pain. Pressure in life because of inevitable bad day. I burden those who close to me a lot, even those who didnt. The list will go longer..

Im a healthcare practitioner, I learn patient care, patient psychology and all..it should be me, the first who understand and accept my condition with ease at heart. But Im frustrated with those who cant accept me with this condition.

It makes me, to say, 'I am your mistake, please stay away.'

Conversation ended when Mum said,
"Berdoalah, moga Allah berikan seseorang yang baik."

7 July 2010

The mess we are in


This is the mess we are in
when the title given in front of your names
being as something which would make you to be treated as God.

Oh please !

13 June 2010

The only option you have

Hanya satu yang paling pasti di dunia ini, iaitu ujian daripada Tuhan.

Selama mana pun telah kita bertahan, sekuat mana pun dugaan, hanya satu pilihan yang diberikan, iaitu bersabar.

You have nothing else my friend. But to be tough.

Sesuatu yang terlalu kita sayang, terlalu kita tidak mahu lepaskan, sampai masanya jika Allah mahukan, ia pasti akan terlepas daripada genggaman. Mungkin itu yang sebaiknya untuk melegakan perasaan. Jika tidak terlepas, tetap jua ia akan pecah di genggaman, yang pasti lebih menyakitkan. Jangan kita tambah kesakitan itu dengan tidak mahu meredhai apa yang terjadi.

Rasa sedih, rasa kecewa, rasa bahagia gembira. Sama ada datangnya mereka, atau berlalunya mereka, jangan kita tutup segala rasa, terimalah seadanya terciptanya mereka sedemikian rupa.

Jalanan yang berliku, manusia-manusia yang dihadirkan ke dalam hidup kita jua banyak mendidik jiwa. Petiklah penawar paling mujarab, redha akannya. Demikianlah hidup ini, terlalu banyak tautan rasa yang banyak jua mengundang derita. Namun segala rasa sakit ini, hanya dariNya untuk kita yang sentiasa alpa.

Redahlah segalanya, segala perlakuan manusia terhadap kita, segala ujian dariNya, redahlah. Kerana Dia yang lebih besar daripada segala apa yang kita rasakan..lebih besar daripada apa yang kita hilang..

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya kesakitan ini lebih menyakitkan daripada kesakitan fizikal yang Kau berikan sejak bertahun yang lepas. Tuhan, berikan kami ketabahan, berikan kekuatan atas hati yang telah dilukakan, berikan kelembutan pada jiwa yang diperlakukan sedemikian, hanya Kau kasih yang berkekalan ! :'(

16 May 2010

confused dan pasti

Dalam seharian kita, ada kondisi yang buat kita jadi confused statusnya, ada kondisi yang kita pasti. The same goes to me. Perkara-perkara tentang kehidupan, yang semestinya berkait dengan agama kita. Jika kita pisahkan perkara kehidupan dan agama, sekular la kita. Ke salah? Betulkan eh..

Tapi dalam satu isu yang as pasti, mengenai pemberian lesen judi untuk sukan supaya penipuan dapat dielakkan. Pasti sebab dinyatakan dengan jelas.

"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bahawa sesungguhnya arak, dan judi, dan pemujaan berhala, dan mengundi nasib dengan batang-batang anak panah, adalah (semuanya) kotor (keji) dari perbuatan Syaitan. Oleh itu hendaklah kamu menjauhinya supaya kamu berjaya." [5:90]

Takkan jadi halal judi itu walaupun diberi lesen. Kan kan..
Lesen manusia, bukan lesen dari Tuhan.
Sama seperti meletakkan logo halal Jakim pada pewarna rambut, tak semestinya itu bermaksud pemakaiannya adalah halal.

Adakah pihak yang memberi lesen tu confused jugak macam As salu confused? Confused dengan ayat "ya ayyuhal lazii.." (wahai orang-orang yang beriman)..maybe.
Pihak berkenaan berjanji tidak akan mengabaikan pembangunan Islam. Wah. Ini cukup bagus. Inilah negara Islam sebenarnya yang kita cari.

Time-time confused camni sebenarnya kita perlukan suara-suara mereka yang 'mengetahui' untuk menegur. Manusia, kena ketuk, baru beringat. Jika setelah diketuk belum beringat juga, doakan moga Allah letakkan hidayah di hati kita.

Camne pun, setiap yang terjadi ada hikmahnya. Yang kadangkala tak tercapai 'aqal kita untuk memikirkannya. Hati manusia sentiasa penuh rasa ragu. Termasuk As pun sama. Terjadinya perkara ini, menjadi isu hangat di sana sini. Pasti ada hikmah di sebalik untuk kita sama-sama fikirkan, untuk pihak2 sebelah A dan sebelah B turut sama memikirkan.

Inilah, petanda makin sangat dekat, dengan the end day. It is actually has landed long time ago..hanya kita tidak menyedari..

p/s: is currently at home, will off back to KL jap lagi. inshaAllah. harap hati lebih tabah. lebih cekal. lebih redha. lebih kuat. lebih telus. dan lebih-lebih mampu menerima segalanya..


14 May 2010

semua sekali pasti ada hikmah

dalam 3 tahun praktikal
as perasan,
tiap kali pesakit bayi yang datang ke department radiologi untuk prosedur x-ray/CT scan selepas jatuh, sama ada jatuh katil, jatuh buaian, jatuh macam-macam ada, mesti datang nak check bahagian kepala (skull) sama ada retak atau sebagainya.

Kepala dulu yang menjunam terkena lantai, atau tempat jatuhan barang berat. Pernah ada pesakit kanak-kanak datang untuk CT scan sebab TV jatuh ke atasnya. Dasyat bukan?

Namun, macam mana sekalipun berdarah terluka bengkak segala, pasti hasil x-ray atau CT scan adalah normal. As duk terfikir, golongan tak berdosa ni, pasti malaikat sambut depa time jatuh tu supaya tak ada pape fracture atau pendarahan di kepala.

ada juga bayi yang jatuh dari buaian, kepala bengkak. baru saja malam tadi. nak check bahagian kepala sama ada okay atau tidak, tapi disebabkan bayi tu jatuh dari buaian, kami dapat mengesan masalah di paru-paru nya. Jadi, datang nak check untuk benda lain, tetapi dapat tahu bayi tersebut mengidap radang paru-paru. Penyakit ni biasanya di kalangan bayi memang tidak menunjukkan tanda. Jadi, jatuhnya bayi tu dari buaian membawa kepada diagnosa penyakit itu. Indah aturanNya.

Sebab tu tiap perkara pasti ada hikmah, takde yang takde hikmah. Cuma kadang kala kita manusia tak dapat fikir apa hikmahnya. Dan kadang kala jua memerlukan masa untuk memahami dan menerima..

Ya Rabbi....fahamkan aku...dan bantulah aku untuk menerima ketentuanMu dengan selapang-lapang dada....

Sesungguhnya mereka dalam peliharaanNya..inshaALlah..
dan kita juga. ameen.

13 May 2010

rugi weh..

eja, mudah je :)

nak praktikkan tu sukar..

sekarang musim semua kawan2 praktikal di merata tempat di semenanjung..pekerja komited tanpa gaji. As di HUKM, menyambung perjuangan praktikal yang sudah masuk tahun ke-tiga. Dalam hari-hari as attend patient, as salu terfikir. Ada nilai ikhlas, atau sekadar attend kerana perlu attend patient.

Dan jugak salu terfikir, alangkah rugi jika tiap patient yang datang tu, as attend dengan tanpa perasaan. Sekadar mahu menyelesaikan satu tanggungjawab. Memang betullah, jika semua benda dalam hidup kita, kita niatkan sebagai ibadah, beruntungnya kita..
Tapi selalunya kita leka. Kita lepaskan banyak perkara begitu sahaja.

Sangat harap, hari-hari yang dilalui, pada musim praktikal yang masih panjang ini, disertai keikhlasan, rasa mahu membantu yang tinggi, dan rasa kasih pada yang memerlukan. Seperti mana as sendiri sentiasa merasai sakit, moga itu membuatkan as lebih memahami perasaan orang-orang yang kesakitan..

Back to the reason why I'm in this medical field. Coz I am a sick person too. I wanna help people, like I wanna be helped. Ikhlas, mahu fikir-fikirkan. Tulus, mahu intai-intai kan. Kekuatan, mahu digenggam erat. Moga tabah untuk meneruskan hari-hari berbaki, sambil memberi bantuan pada pesakit yang memerlukan. Seorang yang sakit attend pada pesakit. hehe, kelakar jugak kadang2 :)

p/s: sedang on call, dan sangat2 sejuukk kat hospital ni~!

4 April 2010


مَنْ خَرَجَ فِي طَلَبِ الْعِلْمِ كَانَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ حَتَّى يَرْجِعَ
( رواية التُّرْمُذِى )

Maksud hadith: "Sesiapa Yang Keluar Kerana Menuntut Ilmu ,Pahalanya Seumpama Orang Yang Keluar Berjihad Di Jalan Allah Sehingga Dia Kembali Pulang.”

Hadith ni sentiasa membakar semangat mereka-mereka yang menuntut ilmu. Tetapi rata-rata kita hari ini buat revision kerana exam, kerana ada quiz, kerana ada asaimen dan sebagainya. Ke mana perginya niat yang satu, belajar ilmuNya ikhlas keranaNya..

Kalau yang tu dah hilang, bolehkah kita anggap perjuangan kita belajar hari ini dikira sebagai jihad seperti dalam hadith..
bila sibuk belajar untuk exam, kita hanya nampak kena hafal untul exam, kita da tak nampak 'ilmu' tu. Danger..

Sepatutnya, ada nilai ikhlas yang perlu diperbaharui niatnya setiap hari dalam apa jua perkara, sungguh-sungguh tingkatkan ilmu, jadikan sebagai amalan kita dan kita berusaha jadi lebih baik dengan ilmu kita tu.

dan kita sentiasa semakin jauh dari tu. Moga Allah mudahkan jalanan kita. Tidak terlalu fokus hanya pada exam, sampai lupa nilai ilmu tu sendiri. Dan tidak terlalu fokus pada kelebihan ilmu pada duniawi kita, risau kita lupa milik siapa ilmu tu.

اَللَّهُمَّ افْتَحْ عَلَيْنَا فُتُوْحَ ﭐلعَارِفِيْنَ وَارْزُقْنَا فَهْمَ النَّبِيِّـيْنَ وَإِلْهَامَ ﭐلمَلاَئِكَةِ المُقَرَّبِيْنَ بِرَحْمَتِكَ يَآ أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحمِيِْنَ

23 March 2010

hati seperti burung

miliki hati seperti burung..terbang bebas di angkasa tidak gusar akan jatuh, tawakkalnya mereka kepada Pemilik 'alam :)

“Seandainya kamu bertawakal kepada Allah dengan sebenar-benar tawakal, nescaya kamu diberi rezeki seperti burung diberi rezeki, ia pagi hari lapar dan petang hari telah kenyang.” (Riwayat Ahmad, at-Tirmizi, Ibnu Majah, Ibnu Hibban, al-Hakim dari Umar bin al-Khattab r.a.)

Dari Abu Hurairah r.a. dari Nabi s.a.w., sabdanya:
"Masuklah ke dalam syurga itu para kaum yang hatinya seperti hati burung." (Riwayat Muslim)

"Barang siapa bertawakal kepada Allah, nescaya Allah mencukupkan(keperluannya).”

cakap dan tulis senang, tapi bila di uji dengan pelbagai dugaan..ia tidak semudah itu..kan.. T_T
belum sampai tahap mukhlisin...ya ALLah...

16 March 2010

will change your perspective of life

a newly born baby boy of my friend
'abdullah 'azam
6th day of life, today :)

Seriously, once your baby been born to the world, the first hug will totally changed your perspective towards life.

Eventhou I have not yet having my own baby, but I have this one little cute baby boy growing up in my house. He really change my perspective towards life. You never, think of anyone else and extremely worried, except for your own spouse and children. Seriously ^_^

Guys out there, have your own baby, you will understand what I mean.

They are always adorable :) just cant understand why people kill their own baby.. T_T

12 March 2010

thousands of it~

only two of us

2 months and 12 days i havent updated anything to this blog. Which is quite weird for me myself and some friends. I apologize.

I dont want to blame the hecticness of life or anything, for me, updating blog requires your passion. It would be something which will channel your stress to a positive way. :)

Studying radiopathology this semester. Senang cerita, diagnosis pesakit melalui gambar-gambar seperti x-ray, scanning dan sebagainya. Kalau ikut mudah bahasa layman. From that, i realized there are lots of disease out there, lots of it. Amat amat banyak. Itu belum campur dengan yang tak perlu tengok gambar untuk nampak sakit ape.

I seriously think that we, are lucky enough. Because we live a healthy life despite of thousands of diseases out there. (speaking like I am an healthy person ^_^ )
There are many sick people, but there are lots more healthy people, for sure. They are just lucky, seriously, by not having any disease.

That's why I agreed to one of the cause of disease, which is, BAD LUCK. That is one of the cause of disease. You guys, are lucky enough not to have those disease, which you yourself cant even think that they are ever existed on earth. Seriously~

Most of all, say your prayers to Him for granting you a good health. May anything that come over you in the future, would not deviate you from the right path. Ameen.

Final exams around the corner. Take a good care of your health. Despite all, we leave it under our tawakkal to Him, only after we give out the efforts~

See you..in a short time, inshaAllah :) will try to update this blog frequently, coming back to its former pace :P

1 January 2010

what to do..?~

ada masa-masa kita terasa bosannya hari-hari kita
ada masa-masa kita rasa kebuntuan
ada masa-masa yang kita terasa kita perlu ubah kehidupan..

tapi selalunya semangat membantutkan kita
untuk menghasilkan semangat baru bukan semudah itu

you may try those below in the list

- try to do something new in your daily life
- try to have a new hobby
- try to meet new people
- try to work with new people
- try to do a new skill
- try to do anything you havent yet doing it

you will find the spirit
you will find the happiness
you will find the freshness of the day

most importantly
you will find your way
which has been the initial reason why you did these new things..
moga rahmat Ilahi bersama kamu, ameen :)

note: special dedication to friends whom always be besides me,
for your wonderful words when I couldnt find the way
and for your kindness through the days we have been together
only Allah is the best rewarder of all~!