16 March 2011

Living with Fibromyalgia, Part 1

*This is actually an assignment given by my psychiatrist; to write regarding Fibromyalgia syndrome which maybe could be used for other chronic pain sufferer. A close friend of mine said, I did not truly express the real condition and my real feelings in this writing. Hehe. Maybe we can have it for other parts? :)*

Part 1: You’re stronger than you thought!
Been living with a chronic pain disease which I never heard the name before, Fibromyalgia, which often causing restricted movement and radiating pain that affects whole my life and body system requires great strength. Still, I could feel His love. Thanks Allah for granting me such force to face everything, and of course only He knows how much exactly I struggle inside in.

Suffering of multiple joint pains for years has leaded me to have consultation at various institutions and not to include numbers of investigation, still not knowing of having Fibromyalgia. Glad that on one find day a very understanding orthopedic oncologists diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. The searching for a name of the pain comes to an end, but then that one single word totally makes me to view my life differently and also to act differently.

This disease will affect most of the body systems thus it is good to know the diagnosis for me to understand my limitation. Furthermore, it is actually answering lots of questions in my mind. Yes, there is no total cure for Fibromyalgia, and it will accompany me till the very end. It is actually not that easy, but accepting a chronic pain disease is among the most crucial thing in dealing positively with it. The pain is totally inevitable, but to suffer due to the sickness is an option for you to choose. One thing for sure, to be patient is not an option, you must be tough all the way long.

As a chronic pain sufferer, I cannot deny that sometimes I would have gloomy days, since this disease is also scientifically associated with depression. Oh thought that I could not say sometimes too, it is most of the time I am depress, or maybe to say deeply in stress? Having to function normally in everyday life as a student really requires great effort as you need to work double triple harder than your other normal healthy classmates. Of course it would be very much stressful.

I would always cry, not because of the pain, but because of the workload which could not be done due to the pain. It is in short, frustrating. Being as a student in Allied Health Sciences makes me understand what a patient truly feels (this is exactly me) since everything has been taught in class. When we are always painful and unable to do the task given or daily activities, it is ‘normal’ to be moody, gloomy, raining or even thunder storm due to it! It is a prove that I am still a human.
But still when we come back to our normal senses, we again will pick the key of accepting (redha) to face our daily life. Other than that, supportive family and friends around is also vital for you to go on living your life. Laughter is always the best medicine, just give out your smile even though it is raining heavily inside. I am now quite dependant on the medicine to stay calm, and this state of mind really helps me to seat back and thinks deeply. This is just a test from Allah as He knows that we can endure it no matter what, and we are actually stronger than we thought.

Everything happens for a reason, and Allah for sure knows the best. Friends out there, I know that you're having a difficult day too, I pray that Allah eases your path, grant you strength, because I know you can. He would not burden us with something which we cannot bear of, and He loves you. That is for sure. Take care, friends!