Living with Fibromyalgia, Part 1

*This is actually an assignment given by my psychiatrist; to write regarding Fibromyalgia syndrome which maybe could be used for other chronic pain sufferer. A close friend of mine said, I did not truly express the real condition and my real feelings in this writing. Hehe. Maybe we can have it for other parts? :)*

Part 1: You’re stronger than you thought!

Been living with a chronic pain disease which I never heard the name before, Fibromyalgia, which often causing restricted movement and radiating pain that affects whole my life and body system requires great strength. Still, I could feel His love. Thanks Allah for granting me such force to face everything, and of course only He knows how much exactly I struggle inside in.

Suffering of multiple joint pains for years has leaded me to have consultation at various institutions and not to include numbers of investigation, still not knowing of having Fibromyalgia. Glad that on one find day a very understanding orthopedic oncologists diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. The searching for a name of the pain comes to an end, but then that one single word totally makes me to view my life differently and also to act differently.

This disease will affect most of the body systems thus it is good to know the diagnosis for me to understand my limitation. Furthermore, it is actually answering lots of questions in my mind. Yes, there is no total cure for Fibromyalgia, and it will accompany me till the very end. It is actually not that easy, but accepting a chronic pain disease is among the most crucial thing in dealing positively with it. The pain is totally inevitable, but to suffer due to the sickness is an option for you to choose. One thing for sure, to be patient is not an option, you must be tough all the way long.

As a chronic pain sufferer, I cannot deny that sometimes I would have gloomy days, since this disease is also scientifically associated with depression. Oh thought that I could not say sometimes too, it is most of the time I am depress, or maybe to say deeply in stress? Having to function normally in everyday life as a student really requires great effort as you need to work double triple harder than your other normal healthy classmates. Of course it would be very much stressful.

I would always cry, not because of the pain, but because of the workload which could not be done due to the pain. It is in short, frustrating. Being as a student in Allied Health Sciences makes me understand what a patient truly feels (this is exactly me) since everything has been taught in class. When we are always painful and unable to do the task given or daily activities, it is ‘normal’ to be moody, gloomy, raining or even thunder storm due to it! It is a prove that I am still a human.

But still when we come back to our normal senses, we again will pick the key of accepting (redha) to face our daily life. Other than that, supportive family and friends around is also vital for you to go on living your life. Laughter is always the best medicine, just give out your smile even though it is raining heavily inside. I am now quite dependant on the medicine to stay calm, and this state of mind really helps me to seat back and thinks deeply. This is just a test from Allah as He knows that we can endure it no matter what, and we are actually stronger than we thought.

Everything happens for a reason, and Allah for sure knows the best. Friends out there, I know that you're having a difficult day too, I pray that Allah eases your path, grant you strength, because I know you can. He would not burden us with something which we cannot bear of, and He loves you. That is for sure. Take care, friends!

kerana pertanyaan beliau

Beberapa bulan yang lepas, kami makan bersama dalam talam. Ada banyaaak makanan hanya untuk kami berempat. Kami pandang-memandang fikir macam mana nak habiskan. Tapi kami makan jelah.

Tiba-tiba seseorang bersuara;

"Untuk cepat kenyang, kena makan cepat ke makan lambat-lambat?" Tanya beliau sambil pandang aku yang menyuap.

Maka tiba-tiba aku cakap,

"Tahukah anda, ia mengambil masa 20 minit sejak kita mula mengunyah makanan, untuk impulse dihantar kepada vagus nerve mengatakan bahawa kita kenyang."

Semua dengar. Aku berfikir sesaat sambil memandang tepat mata beliau sebelum menambah bicara,

"Jadi maknanya kita kena makan laju-laju la kan kalau nak habiskan semua makanan ni..?"

"Yeah, hari ini kita kena lawan arus. Makan cepat sket ye." Kata teman aku.

Jadi kami makanlah laju-laju sikit supaya tak membazir :D

Haha.

Dan hari ini baru aku dapat relate dengan salah satu sunnah nabi iaitu makan tiga jari. Ada yang cakap budaya nabi makan roti so memang a tiga jari je, makanan ruji kita mana boleh. Makan nasi bocor nanti. Walaupun aku pun memang makan nasi guna 4-5 jari. Utilize la katakan :D

Dulu kala suka makan dengan sudu, pastu asyik kena smashed je kan, maka jadilah aku kembali pada wanita melayu terakhir. Owh ye, kenapa orang melayu tak suka makan dengan sudu? I asked a friend dan die cakap sebab tak puas makan, tak berselera. Ye betullah tu.

Sebab tu nabi makan tiga jari. Because eating with 3 fingers provide sufficient amount of food that stomach could handle in each bite. Kalau makan 5 jari, we give more food to the stomach in each bite. Plus ape yang aku nak kaitkan dengan fakta yang di atas adalah, bila makan 3 jari akan menyebabkan kita habis makan lambat sikit.

Biasa kamu semua makan berapa lama? Tak sampai 10 minit kan. Thus camne perut nak rasa kenyang kan sebab information kenyang tak sampai lagi ke otak. Itu yang ramai tend to makan benda-benda ringan pulak lepas makan berat. Atau ramai yang tend to tambah nasi sampai berpinggan-pinggan. Betul?

And I believe it is hard for us to apply this sunnah tika makan nasi. Jadi, tika makan nasi tuh, jangan laju-laju sangat, kunyah biaq hancur sket baru telan. Akan amik masa sedikitlah kan jika makan. Jadi akan rasa lah kenyang tu. Perut pun tak terkejut dapat nasi yang tak hancur lagi :D

Dan bolehlah apply sunnah nabi ini jika makan benda lain macam roti dan sebagainya whichever applicable.

Ingat lagi entry pasal steroid ni?

Well no comment, cuma aku suka makan sejak setahun lepas. Daripada kurus cengkung jadi berisi dengan berat normal akhirnya. Sebab aku suka makan lately, so aku cam kena control. Which means, kalau rasa nak amik nasi banyak, jangan. Banyakkan lauk dan salad. Biasa banyakkan salad la sebab ada fiber.

Sebab nasi hanya kenyang sementara je, carbs kan cepat digest compared to fiber and protein. Tapi sebenarnya protein la yang buat kau rasa kenyang. Try makan nasi kosong tengok cane rasa kenyang ke tak. So dalam pinggan tu better lauk dan salad lebih banyak daripada nasik. Fiber lambat digest jadi kau akan rasa kenyang lama.

Time-time yang bukan waktu makan dan kau rasa lapar, try amik buah la dan bijirin. Ni sume fiber yang buat kau kenyang lama sikit dan inshaAllah better for your body rather than kau makan benda high calory.

Tapi tak salah je kau nak makan benda-benda high calory macam kek sume, cuma jangan kerap hari-hari dan berlebihan for sure. tapi ganti la semula dengan exercise sume. Mungkin kau gelak je, but exercise adalah sangat-sangat penting untuk badan kau. Jangan amalkan sedentary lifestyle. Hampeh. Kalau rasa nak cepat kena heart attack, silalah amalkan ye. Dialu-alukan.

Ingat, kau tak jaga makan, kau merana. Kau tak exercise kau merana. Kau tak rasa hari ni tapi kau akan rasa akan datang bila dah berusia. Dan saat tu macam agak sia-sia la kan. Paling penting, jangan makan ikut nafsu. Mungkin kau boleh kata akan datang kau akan jaga lah makan, but you are what you eat, and once dah jadi habit macam tu, it's hard to change. Sekian.

nota 1: kalau cara kau berbeza dengan aku, tak payah kot kalau rasa nak condemn, but u always cud share it here with others. All above are those I found through my reading.

nota 2: mari baca sini jap jom

p/s: ini kali pertama aku termenung on what to write to share with u guys, dan apa yang berjela ni sume datang emncurah secara tiba2 tika aku menulis. Ilham dari Tuhan..

Why people temporarily lost their voice?

Lokasi: Bilik
"As, kita boleh tubuhkan Kelab Takde Suara neh." - Roomate

Lokasi: Meeting
"As, tak jumpa-jumpa lagi ke suara?" -  Ahmad Z

"As, ko baek duk sebelah aku, susah aku nak dengar ko cakap ape." -  Irene

Lokasi: Kelas
"As, senyap~! Seksa kitorang dengar." - Classmates

"As, shhhh.." - Mawar Merah

"Nak tanya sangat, tapi takde suara." - Lecturer *sambil gelak*  :D

Lokasi: phone conversation
"Ah, macam penyanyi Rock!" - Abang no. 3

"Lamanya tak kol ibu, kenape?" - Ibu

I reduce any phone calls, and only make up phone calls when it is really important. To those friends who tried to hear me in the phone; dammit, MM, jep, azri, thanks a lot. Nak-nak time banyak urusan event management macam ni. People will understand if they really wanted to listen. Yang face to face mudah je nak recognize what did I say kan even though I need to repeat them over and over for you. (:

--------------------------------------

Oke! Malam ni start makan Zithromax for fast action. It was laryngitis. I thought it was tonsilitis as I always have this kind of infection since last two years. I was at first kind of blur-blur why my skull started to swelll. From back of ear, to the occipital area then to the parietal area. But it is actually the lymph node.

Macam biasa, batuk-batuk then demam to the loss of voice.

(image of larynx)

Have you ever experienced the loss of voice? Or hear someone said, "I lost my voice."
Larynx is the source of our voice as there are two bands of muscle called vocal cords inside the larynx.

When we breath, vocal cords are relaxed and open while when we decide to say something, the cords come together. The small space between the cords caused the vibration when the air pass through them.

Laryngitis could occur when you scream a lot as for example in a sport's match, singing aloud also could cause an infection to this area. Our stomach also has the probability to cause larnygitis. Just like we have a tube for air to go into and out of our lungs, we also have a tube for food to go into our stomach. Sometimes the stomach acid that helps break down food, comes back up to the swallowing tube. The acid can irritate our vocal cords.

Did you ever notice that people who smoke a lot have rough, raspy voices? Ha, smoking can cause laryngitis too. Infections from germs are a very common cause of laryngitis (I think mine is due to this). Sometimes bacteria can infect the vocal cords, but most of the time it's the virus - like those that causes flu. That's why sometimes when we have a cold or a bad cough, our voice also sounds funny.

Thus, I met an ENT specialist yesterday, got the medicine and forgot to consume them. Teruk.

If you ever face this voice problem, meet your doctor to have some antibiotics, also please take lots of fluids and rest your voice by talking as little as possible. Kind of hard, aite? As many things just could not be explain by picturing them. For example; questions to be asked to the lecturers.

Tonight, when you open your mouth and say "good night," you will know where the sound of those words come from. And, if that "good night" comes out with terrible sound, you will know that it could be laryngitis! ;p

p/s: Today my hand started to feel numbness and I could not write properly. The disease is worsening but then I need to stay positive, Hiyark~!